What Actually Matters

I am not going to lie. Much like everyone else, I do get stressed from time to time. No matter how much I eat right and exercise and not let small things bother me, stress always seems to enter my life at one point or another. 

So on top of applying to graduate schools, job hunting, and living life, I decided to volunteer the other day. This past Wednesday from 8am - 1pm I volunteered at the Staten Island Zoo. Yes, you read that right....the zoo. 

I decided voluntarily that I would scoop poop, carry hundreds of pounds of feed, and surround myself with animals that certainly haven’t bathed in months. Don’t worry, I am not crazy and I knew what I was getting myself into.......or so I thought. 

The day started off fairly straight forward. I had to clean up after the rabbits, goats, sheep, and even horses. I have never seen so much poop.

Then I got a surprise!

After all of the cleaning and feeding I was informed there was a petting zoo and one of my duties would be participate in interacting with the children, adults, and animals. After a short break, we heard over the radio that a pre-school class had just showed up and everyone wanted to go inside the petting zoo. 

After the introduction, a zookeeper, myself, 3 adults, and 20 children aged 3-5 years old, headed into the petting zoo. I could have guessed that if you are 3-5 years old, an animal like a goat must be a little intimidating considering its size, not to mention the alpaca that are bigger than I am. 

Immediately upon entering, the kids began to look at the adults to figure out what to do. By this point in the morning, I was comfortable with the animals so I walked right over to a goat and let it sniff my hands and then proceeded to give it a good scratch and massage. Around 5 of the kids immediately ran over next to me and put their little hands on the goat trying to figure out what I was doing. I talked to them and assured them it wasn’t going to hurt them and after about a minute or so, I slowly lifted my hands. I figured I would watch them pet the goat but immediately, 5 little pairs of hands shot back and I had 5 pairs of eye looking right at me. 

So we slowly proceeded to another goat...and then another and another until the kids were more comfortable with the animals and I could talk with the adults. 

After the teachers rounded up the children and they scurried off to another part of the zoo, it finally hit me. 

In those few minutes, with 5 little pairs of hands petting Alice Cooper the goat right next to mine, I didn’t worry about a thing. Stress, worry, anything bothering me......all of it was gone. They would ask me a question about the horns or why her fur was so warm then we would get back to giving Alice Cooper a good scratch.

But no matter what was bothering me that day, helping little kids and teaching them to trust in animals and each other mattered more than anything else I did at the zoo that day. 

So this weekend and in the next week or so, if you find stress creeping into your life, find the time to help someone. Teach someone, give something away for free, or even just open a door for a stranger.

Just make sure you are helping someone else and you will realize no matter how the day turns out, you will discover something that actually matters in your life. Have a great weekend!

Mindset

This past weekend I made a decision to change a part of my life. Nothing too big or drastic, just to increase my fitness level.  Every day since Monday, I have swum one mile in the pool. It is a good starting place for me but it has brought an unexpected addition. In that time when I am swimming, I have time to think; to think about anything, everything, or nothing at all. 

Because of all of this thinking and reading a book to follow, I have discovered an idea. This idea centers around mindset. Let’s say there are two different mindsets we naturally fall into: fixed mindset and growth mindset.

Fixed mindset revolves around the fact that people are born with certain talents and traits and those aspects are fixed. The concept of a “natural” in sports or the question do people exist who are born great leaders, athletes, business moguls, etc.?? Was Michael Jordan always destined to be great at sports? How about Tiger Woods? Always of these questions revolves around a fixed mindset.

Then there is the growth mindset. Growth mindset revolves around the fact that no matter what talents and traits you have, hard work can always improve them. Not only does a growth mindset allow you to make changes in your career or relationships, it allows you to see setbacks and failures in a different light. If you made a 60% on a test, would you let it bother you or just consider it a learning experience? If a relationship went sour, would you immediately assign blame or figure it out what went wrong and learn from it? How about being funny or charming or understanding, can you improve these aspects of yourself? Growth mindset revolves around this fact that no matter what traits or talents you have, with hard work you can always learn, improve, and grow.

One person is rarely one or the other, they can see certain parts of their life in different ways. Plus, please do not misunderstand me, no matter what mindset you adopt, a setback in your life can be painful. The point is not to let the setback or pain DEFINE you. How many of you have thought “I suck at math” after doing bad on a math test or felt broken after being hurt in a relationship? You failed a test...so you thought you were a failure. No matter who you are, I guarantee there is something you excel at and guess what? Even THAT can be improved!

So here’s to changing my mindset! To slowly making the changes so I can always be learning and growing, succeeding in life where I see fit! 

So no matter what you want to accomplish in life or even what experiences come your way, always make sure to ask yourself:

What’s my mindset today?

Our Mantra

                                             

At the end of 2012 my life changed forever. On December 29th I married Stacey! The 29th was an amazing, nerve-racking, fun, funny, and one-of-a-kind day to which I would not change for the world! Much has happened since my fingers last pecked at the keys of my keyboard but over the course of the last month, our wedding day definitely stands out more than any other day.

 Early on the morning of the 30th as Stacey and I were flying at 30,000 feet on our way to Canada, my thoughts began to drift to the upcoming new year. What would change? What would stay the same? What challenges and rewards did my life have in store over the next year? 

An idea/resolution began to emerge that I felt needed to be bigger than just another new year's resolution. The idea simply put had to be a life-changer, a mantra. After much reading and introspection and discussion and even more reading, I found what I was looking for. It is not perfect, but as you will discover as you read it, that is okay, and there is always room for change. It is a work in progress. I am giving much of deserved credit to Chris Guillebeau. Whether it is entirely his or not, I am not certain, but he was the first to publish it so I owe a great deal to this original piece of his. I hope you enjoy it and add to it just I did. It started as his goal but became our mantra. The mantra for Stacey and I (along with all of our vows =) ) and the mantra for me and anyone reading this. 

1.

To wake in the morning full of life and energy, awaiting the day with anticipation and purpose.

To step out into the world ready to accomplish a significant task.

To engage and initiate instead of merely responding. To take the active choice that you will make something happen.

2.

To maintain harmony and goodwill in relationships. To follow Shakespeare's adage: love all, trust a few, and do wrong to no one.

To focus on contribution and engagement instead of withdrawal into yourself. (Tip: When you aren't sure what to do next, find a small way to help someone.)

3.

To pursue productive, meaningful work. To spend most of your time doing something that you and others find meaningful.

To accept that everything you create will likely be flawed in some way, but to create anyway.

To enjoy the life you are gifted to experience. Not to take it easy, for life isn't always easy. But to appreciate the present while looking ahead to the future.

4.

To pay attention to how you feel. Not because everything is supposed to feel good, but because how you feel is a good reflection of your overall state of being.

To understand that freedom is choice. To grasp the reality that a world of possibilities are open to you, so you'd better do something about them.

To dream bigger and to pursue the dream. To choose to leap when others hold back. To maintain a standard of surprise and a choice of challenge.

To refuse to settle, and to decline the easy path of becoming a cynic. To find something to believe in and defend it with all your heart.

5.

To align your life with these ideals, continuing to work toward them every day.

To embrace the journey, focusing on the process and deferring the arrival if necessary.

To appreciate what you have without longing for more.

To refuse to rest on your laurels. To accept that what you've already done is in the past. To forge ahead!

What is your mantra?