What Actually Matters

I am not going to lie. Much like everyone else, I do get stressed from time to time. No matter how much I eat right and exercise and not let small things bother me, stress always seems to enter my life at one point or another. 

So on top of applying to graduate schools, job hunting, and living life, I decided to volunteer the other day. This past Wednesday from 8am - 1pm I volunteered at the Staten Island Zoo. Yes, you read that right....the zoo. 

I decided voluntarily that I would scoop poop, carry hundreds of pounds of feed, and surround myself with animals that certainly haven’t bathed in months. Don’t worry, I am not crazy and I knew what I was getting myself into.......or so I thought. 

The day started off fairly straight forward. I had to clean up after the rabbits, goats, sheep, and even horses. I have never seen so much poop.

Then I got a surprise!

After all of the cleaning and feeding I was informed there was a petting zoo and one of my duties would be participate in interacting with the children, adults, and animals. After a short break, we heard over the radio that a pre-school class had just showed up and everyone wanted to go inside the petting zoo. 

After the introduction, a zookeeper, myself, 3 adults, and 20 children aged 3-5 years old, headed into the petting zoo. I could have guessed that if you are 3-5 years old, an animal like a goat must be a little intimidating considering its size, not to mention the alpaca that are bigger than I am. 

Immediately upon entering, the kids began to look at the adults to figure out what to do. By this point in the morning, I was comfortable with the animals so I walked right over to a goat and let it sniff my hands and then proceeded to give it a good scratch and massage. Around 5 of the kids immediately ran over next to me and put their little hands on the goat trying to figure out what I was doing. I talked to them and assured them it wasn’t going to hurt them and after about a minute or so, I slowly lifted my hands. I figured I would watch them pet the goat but immediately, 5 little pairs of hands shot back and I had 5 pairs of eye looking right at me. 

So we slowly proceeded to another goat...and then another and another until the kids were more comfortable with the animals and I could talk with the adults. 

After the teachers rounded up the children and they scurried off to another part of the zoo, it finally hit me. 

In those few minutes, with 5 little pairs of hands petting Alice Cooper the goat right next to mine, I didn’t worry about a thing. Stress, worry, anything bothering me......all of it was gone. They would ask me a question about the horns or why her fur was so warm then we would get back to giving Alice Cooper a good scratch.

But no matter what was bothering me that day, helping little kids and teaching them to trust in animals and each other mattered more than anything else I did at the zoo that day. 

So this weekend and in the next week or so, if you find stress creeping into your life, find the time to help someone. Teach someone, give something away for free, or even just open a door for a stranger.

Just make sure you are helping someone else and you will realize no matter how the day turns out, you will discover something that actually matters in your life. Have a great weekend!

Mindset

This past weekend I made a decision to change a part of my life. Nothing too big or drastic, just to increase my fitness level.  Every day since Monday, I have swum one mile in the pool. It is a good starting place for me but it has brought an unexpected addition. In that time when I am swimming, I have time to think; to think about anything, everything, or nothing at all. 

Because of all of this thinking and reading a book to follow, I have discovered an idea. This idea centers around mindset. Let’s say there are two different mindsets we naturally fall into: fixed mindset and growth mindset.

Fixed mindset revolves around the fact that people are born with certain talents and traits and those aspects are fixed. The concept of a “natural” in sports or the question do people exist who are born great leaders, athletes, business moguls, etc.?? Was Michael Jordan always destined to be great at sports? How about Tiger Woods? Always of these questions revolves around a fixed mindset.

Then there is the growth mindset. Growth mindset revolves around the fact that no matter what talents and traits you have, hard work can always improve them. Not only does a growth mindset allow you to make changes in your career or relationships, it allows you to see setbacks and failures in a different light. If you made a 60% on a test, would you let it bother you or just consider it a learning experience? If a relationship went sour, would you immediately assign blame or figure it out what went wrong and learn from it? How about being funny or charming or understanding, can you improve these aspects of yourself? Growth mindset revolves around this fact that no matter what traits or talents you have, with hard work you can always learn, improve, and grow.

One person is rarely one or the other, they can see certain parts of their life in different ways. Plus, please do not misunderstand me, no matter what mindset you adopt, a setback in your life can be painful. The point is not to let the setback or pain DEFINE you. How many of you have thought “I suck at math” after doing bad on a math test or felt broken after being hurt in a relationship? You failed a test...so you thought you were a failure. No matter who you are, I guarantee there is something you excel at and guess what? Even THAT can be improved!

So here’s to changing my mindset! To slowly making the changes so I can always be learning and growing, succeeding in life where I see fit! 

So no matter what you want to accomplish in life or even what experiences come your way, always make sure to ask yourself:

What’s my mindset today?

Our Mantra

                                             

At the end of 2012 my life changed forever. On December 29th I married Stacey! The 29th was an amazing, nerve-racking, fun, funny, and one-of-a-kind day to which I would not change for the world! Much has happened since my fingers last pecked at the keys of my keyboard but over the course of the last month, our wedding day definitely stands out more than any other day.

 Early on the morning of the 30th as Stacey and I were flying at 30,000 feet on our way to Canada, my thoughts began to drift to the upcoming new year. What would change? What would stay the same? What challenges and rewards did my life have in store over the next year? 

An idea/resolution began to emerge that I felt needed to be bigger than just another new year's resolution. The idea simply put had to be a life-changer, a mantra. After much reading and introspection and discussion and even more reading, I found what I was looking for. It is not perfect, but as you will discover as you read it, that is okay, and there is always room for change. It is a work in progress. I am giving much of deserved credit to Chris Guillebeau. Whether it is entirely his or not, I am not certain, but he was the first to publish it so I owe a great deal to this original piece of his. I hope you enjoy it and add to it just I did. It started as his goal but became our mantra. The mantra for Stacey and I (along with all of our vows =) ) and the mantra for me and anyone reading this. 

1.

To wake in the morning full of life and energy, awaiting the day with anticipation and purpose.

To step out into the world ready to accomplish a significant task.

To engage and initiate instead of merely responding. To take the active choice that you will make something happen.

2.

To maintain harmony and goodwill in relationships. To follow Shakespeare's adage: love all, trust a few, and do wrong to no one.

To focus on contribution and engagement instead of withdrawal into yourself. (Tip: When you aren't sure what to do next, find a small way to help someone.)

3.

To pursue productive, meaningful work. To spend most of your time doing something that you and others find meaningful.

To accept that everything you create will likely be flawed in some way, but to create anyway.

To enjoy the life you are gifted to experience. Not to take it easy, for life isn't always easy. But to appreciate the present while looking ahead to the future.

4.

To pay attention to how you feel. Not because everything is supposed to feel good, but because how you feel is a good reflection of your overall state of being.

To understand that freedom is choice. To grasp the reality that a world of possibilities are open to you, so you'd better do something about them.

To dream bigger and to pursue the dream. To choose to leap when others hold back. To maintain a standard of surprise and a choice of challenge.

To refuse to settle, and to decline the easy path of becoming a cynic. To find something to believe in and defend it with all your heart.

5.

To align your life with these ideals, continuing to work toward them every day.

To embrace the journey, focusing on the process and deferring the arrival if necessary.

To appreciate what you have without longing for more.

To refuse to rest on your laurels. To accept that what you've already done is in the past. To forge ahead!

What is your mantra?

                                

Just Breathe

You would think NYC wouldn’t stress me out any more. Ever since moving here, I figured I had solved the concerns rolling around in the back of my mind.

• Traffic is a just a way of life.
• I can understand everyone!
• I know my way around........sort of.

I had fallen into my daily routine; when I woke up every morning I had an idea of what I wanted/need to achieve. But at the end of last week, Stacey and I got a pleasant surprise into our lives.

My dad came to visit!

Knowing my dad, you would know he LOVES to drive. One of the aspects that truly enticed him to drive to NYC (besides Stacey and I of course) is the fact that is take 11 HOURS to get here. Where this amount of driving would seem redundant and monotonous to me, he saw it as a way to truly relax and enjoy the view. 

After dropping Stacey off at the hospital Friday morning, my dad and I decided to go for our customary walk. We grabbed a quick espresso and off we went into the chilly Staten Island air. Including two quick stops for meals, over the course of that Friday we walked between 8 and 9 hours. It is funny how whenever you get immersed in a conversation, you tend to forget about the time gone by. Unaware at the time, it was relaxing to hear my dad complain about republicans and democrats or give his own solution to unemployment. As we walked, every so often my dad would get out of breath. My reply would always be “just breathe”. So we walked for hours talking about this and that and every hour or so, I would once again repeat “just breathe”. By the end of the day, I realized that whenever my dad had taken a quick break, i would too. I would stretch a little bit and take a deep breath, energizing me for the next conversation. After almost 9 hours of walking, my legs were getting a little sore but I completely relaxed. The honking of car horns and smell of exhaust fumes that I normally find bothersome didn’t phase me in the least. Truth be told I would have enjoyed walking even more.

For the rest of the weekend, my dad, Stacey, and I all ate, went shopping, played cards, and my dad and I even managed to see the new James Bond movie. We laughed, read, stayed up late, and even had some chocolate croissants for breakfast one morning. But for the rest of this week and hopefully many more to come, if I find myself getting stressed or losing my patience at all, I just need to remember two simple words.

Just breathe.

What have you done to relax lately?

Our Healing Body

Blogging is always an interesting experience. 

As much as I enjoy writing about fun, interesting, or inspiring parts of my life, when I look out at the world, I cannot help but not be satisfied with certain parts of it. Everyone feels this way about some part of their life or society around them. That is not to say I am unhappy, I am generally a very positive person. I just feel there are parts of myself and society that need improvement. 

Out of the many causes I care about, one cause that strikes a particular accord is health.

I have a great desire to be healthy, teach others around me to be healthy, and always be increasing my education on health as a broad topic.

After my studies in medicine and nutrition, a belief I firmly stand behind is that your body knows how to be perfectly healthy on its own. Given the optimal amounts of food, exercise, and sleep, your mind and body naturally become healthy. Being overweight or ill or even unhappy is not the natural state of our bodies. The question becomes: So what is this optimal amount of food, exercise, and sleep? This thought has hardly left my mind for many years.

With obesity and type II diabetes and many other illnesses on the rise, I have realized that there are fundamental flaws in the healthcare and nutrition systems of our country at many different levels. Therefore, one day, hopefully within one year, I want to write a series of posts (maybe even its own blog) which will be named Our Healing Body. It will be information about different aspects of health and living. 

What foods will keep us healthy and happy and even taste good? 

Are grocery stores and restaurants really promoting health or just trying to raise their bottom dollar? 

What factors contribute to the level of obesity and related illnesses in this country? 

How can we as individuals and as a society take health into our own hands?

The most important part about these posts in I want this to be collaborative.

I invite people to chime in different habits and routines and have a collective of recipes, nutrition facts, and health care knowledge. Be rest assured, I will still be keeping up with my light-hearted blog posts but slowly working on this overall health theme as well. No matter where you are in the world, I hope everyone has a great rest of the week and is safe, healthy, and happy. To improvement!

What improvements are you making in your life?

A Glimmer of Hope

To say the last two weeks have been busy would be an understatement. On top of a test I studied almost 3 months for, many members of my family-to-be came to visit last weekend and then of course, Hurricane Sandy happened. As much much as I am glad the test is over and having the family here was a blast, it is good to sit down and start writing again.

After all of the family left, I still had thoughts of Noah and Luca running down leaf-covered trails while Stacey walked and I carried Adi on my back. However, my computer was quick to interrupt my thoughts of the Hurricane to come, new flashes and even videos all saying “this is going to be a superstorm”. Over the next few days people certainly looked more stressed out and after the hurricane hit, there were even reports of fights over gasoline and looting of people’s houses. Being in Staten Island, there were many power lines down and trees knocked over, but Stacey and I went on with our life as much as possible. Considering we had no heat or hot water, eating dinner by candlelight was a necessity and taking a bath was certainly an experience. I won’t lie, after 48 hours without any heat or power and large quantities of food starting to go bad, stress was slowly creeping into my mind. The following morning I heard of a few places on the island had power and were beginning to open.

So I went to the coffee shop, Beans and Leaves

To walk into Beans and Leaves, with every table full of people talking and laughing, to have amazing smells coming from the counter, and for it to be WARM was all-at-once, a mood-elevating moment. A smile came across my face as I walked up to the counter and quickly ordered a house coffee and croissant and sat down at open table. As I sat and listened to people talk, I realized that Manhattan, New Jersey, and even other parts of Staten Island had been affected much worse. It was a very humbling feeling that let me see slight glimmer of hope in the whole ordeal. Around me at every seat were people who had lost a lot, some everything, and they were all in positive spirits. They were laughing, sharing pastries, even reading the same New York Times articles together. I then heard another group talking about how they were organizing food and clothing drives and had a shelter ready as well.

So after a few conversations and snack-buying sessions, I packed up and headed home. As I was walking through the leaves, I thought about how hope can rise from something so small; how right now people are organizing, taking donations, and providing food. I hope everyone who reads this is safe, healthy, and warm. But even if you are not (still TONS of people without water, power, or heat), have at least a glimmer of hope. Help is on the way.

What has given you hope recently?

The Season of Giving

Out of the many holidays we celebrate here in the United States, one of my favorite would have to be Christmas. It is the one of the few times in the year that my family all come together out at my grandparents’ farm. We laugh, we eat A LOT, we open presents, and relax and catch-up around the fireplace in the den. It is a very relaxing time and it always seems no matter what is going on outside in the world, there is always a sense of serenity and happiness out at the farm.

Naturally, whenever I met Stacey I wanted to make sure she could experience this and hopefully, want to keep coming back time and time again. Jump ahead nearly 3 years and we are now getting married in less than 2 months (get EXCITED!) so she has certainly had time to appreciate “farm time”. A few months ago though, we were driving, talking about upcoming Christmas season and all of the festivities when a conversation came up that surprised me.

Me: Hey baby, excited for December?

Stacey: YEAH, of course, but it is going to be really busy though

Me: Yeah true, I am looking forward to hanging out at the farm, and seeing your family and the babies but it will certainly be craziness!

Stacey: Yeah, I love the babies! Plus, all my family will be there so we will all be going to church and maybe volunteering.

Stacey: Does your family ever volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter or anywhere?

Phil: Hmmm, I don’t think so, wait, are you serious?

Stacey: Are YOU serious?

We then proceeded to have a conversation about even though we always enjoyed family time, more people than we realize don’t have to opportunity to share that enjoyment. I certainly had thought about volunteering in the past but once the holidays came around, it seemed as though we were always in a rush or made more plans than we had time. Stacey and I both agreed though that “family time” was often one of the happiest times of the holiday season. Considering how much we both valued it, we wanted to make sure others experienced it as well.

So we made a pact!

Stacey and I decided that this upcoming Christmas season, we were going to volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter one day in hopes that we can bring some “family time” to people who are not as fortunate as ourselves. We figured through all the rush and plans of the holidays, giving up one afternoon would not change our plans and hopefully, bring happiness to many others. 

So as I sit here typing this Mid-October morning, my mind begins to think of all of the excitement of this upcoming holiday season, of all the fun and festivities to be had. But I also realize how thankful I am. I am thankful for many things/people in my life but without a doubt, one person is Stacey.  Among many amazing qualities, she reminds me how no matter what good and bad we all experience throughout the year, this holiday season and many others after it should truly be the season of giving.

What positive changes are you making for this upcoming holiday season?